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The life and times of some guy you don't know [entries|friends|calendar]
The Kerm

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[23 Apr 2004|07:21am]
[ mood | sick ]

hey you, yeah thats right, you. sitting in your comfy little chair without a care in the world thinking life is just a big evil dice game configured to self destruct upon impact and set off a cataclysmic chain reaction searing in cold light breezes screaming through the breaks in the silence. i can see the storms you swill in your skull. dont think for a second that no one notices your insane attempt at normality. no body can see your green eyes dancing. hunched over you silly keyboard like a baboon with ass breath that clogs the keys in split seconds of eye rolling and sloppy spelling. hacking lemon lovers into fresh trash bins. go ahead and try to turn away but i have something to tell you that you will never forget for the rest of your diseased, ever-shitting life in a bubble.........i love you.........

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"are you lost?" [20 Apr 2004|02:11pm]
fuck shit cunt smoke....still havent slept a wink...jesus im tired but it doesnt even matter now. maybe i shouldnt have left erins so early yesterday but i kept getting these looks from both her and justin screaming, "youre still here?" i think they wanted to be alone. lovely. my stomach still hurts and now my throat is burning, probably from smoking too much opium these past couple of days but i guess i wont have to worry about that anymore will i?

actually i did fall asleep for about thirty minutes to an hour. had a weird ass dream. erin and kim and mike and some others (probably just figments of my over-active imagination) were there. i remember we were shopping (or at least the girls were shopping, mike and i would just watch) and i got lost (in the supermarket). the next thing i remember i was standing in a strange laboratory of some odd little toy maker. he was so hunched over and animated that he peaked my curiousity thoroughly. he was making some doll from this tiny square compressor and when he pulled the toy out of the magic metal box i began to bawl uncontrollably. it was weird (yes ill use that word a thousand times if i have to). i fell to my knees and cried for the rest of the dream, not sure of what the fuck was going on around me or about where everyone went.

ugh...gotta go to work...bye bye
3 comments|post comment

shallow days....and hollow nights [20 Apr 2004|06:23am]
hmmm.... again i find myself blank as a crossword puzzle that got kicked under the bed. i hate it when i have things on my mind but when i sit down to type i get smacked in the eyes with empty pages and humming metal boxes.

wish i could go to sleep...

i just read a story a minute ago about a 40 year old pregnant mexican gave herself a c section, or whatever the term is, with a kitchen knife. all she had was three shots of something (tequila im guessing) and dug into her own flesh and pulled out a fucking baby....yikes.

my stomach still hurts a little, theres a quarter pounder with cheese in the microwave and i cant eat it....urgh...

i think once im rid of the rest of my stuff im gonna quit drugs again for a little bit...maybe one more mushroom night and ill tear apart my exsistence to the attentive sky once more...

when the day has closed and the night expires
i spit myself like funeral pyres
with drying conditions
and rainbow remissions
youll find a gaping hole in the fires
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fell those ply wheels turn your blender.... [18 Apr 2004|04:59pm]
ive got about six bad religion songs in my head at once...the synchopation of it all astounds me. if god made the earth than he made bad religion because he began to feel guilty when his lapdogs started asking too many questions.

"immortality is purpose and function. obviously few can qualify. and does this christian god stand with his worshippers? he does not. like a cowardly officer, he keeps himself well out of the war zone, bathed in the sniveling prayers of his groveling, shit eating worshippers..."

i can still see a road less traveled. its out there. its in here. dont listen to me thats your first mistake. hear me and feel me but do not listen with filtered ears. you can still win the battle for everlasting life but not by following dogma from some drug addled wise cracking night owl.

but hey, sometimes we all wish an end to ourselves. not in a suicidal sense but in sleep and drugs and art and other modes of dissappearance.

but my words become jumbled and non-sensical. no one can pull logic from the mouth of the dragon.

"i am the cat who walks alone, to me all supermarkets are alike. yes and the people in them, from helsinki to san diego, fromfrom seoul to sydney..."
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[14 Apr 2004|05:44am]
"fly by babies...winter calls us no more, dead in her whispering bed..."

time said to the man with no hat as he wandered with mind akimbo. we talked a blue runny streak across the mountains. both fully aware of the futility in expression. the most meaningful thoughts cannot be said. even in a halo of silly black ink and crystal rocks. after a break in the non-existant conversation a boom of thunderous bronco hooves splattered our disposition against my memory.

"you know what it is to speak"
"it is merely to trap yourself in me"
"why ask pointless questions that have but more questions posing as answers?"
"do we really need to know anything?"
"do you really know what you need?"

vibrato punching. beating me back from attainment of invisibility. red lip laughter orbiting the screen like daffodils on a rainy spring dream...

am i thinking of them? are they thinking of me?

what makes me exist? thought? the ability to question it? or is there some "divine comedy" at work here...i shall re-grasp my initiative and cut the cords that block my path...for now...
2 comments|post comment

the phone's for you...something about "manifest destiny?" [13 Apr 2004|02:47pm]
in meaning i find a feeling of emptiness, the absolute reality of things as they dissolve into thick sludgey water running towards my feet, analysing purpose in any and everything we all do every day of our lives,

the blind insect of my nightmares

what is freedom? is this freedom? right here right now?

im walking through a carnival day after endlessly breif days, chasing the dragon with black eye sockets, ill let the sun bake my head for a little,

"ill always remember to forget about you.."

i can only see ornaments grafted to....
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i must be the best nerd i can be... [03 Apr 2004|04:35pm]
Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
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raspy little voids they find me from time to time [30 Mar 2004|03:53pm]
a frightened tailpipe bursts worry out its mouth. a thousand more see him and imitate his sweating demonstration of a siren call. bringing forth the night clouded wrench fights. i step through it all. a raindance on puddles of asphalt thought debris. it ripples staple gun sweetness into my imagination. the dark has a mouth. it smells of shit and memory. reeling me in like a strawberry starfish oozing my reflection onto the iris fires burning away the need for such primitive attempts at communication. a feathery puncuation for martini glasses with full prescription benefits. then i see my talcom powder skin radiating a strange numbness. returning my own hazy stare back at me. coma toes. a thousand times over. a rattling cage distraction. seals the deal with purple spit sliding down the landscape. smooth lines on the face. insufferable botox injections to the arterial street lamp screamers. too weak to eat. causes subtle hallucinatory ejaculations. wailing yellow eyed ghosts. grasping at what is now history. a foggy night blur that surges in a flash. now and then.

and the sun. she slowly sets. over emerald turf. frothing like a beach head. hungry for dawn. the surface opens into a whirlpool like a hollow wound. hungry for dawn.
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give me slumber or give me death [28 Mar 2004|06:04am]
tired is not the right word i would use to describe for this predicament (sp?) i find myself in. my brain simply will not shut off. it keeps thinking about shit that i dont want to think about. maybe i should go on those mind-numbing pills that psychiatrists prescribe to the depressed and delusional. nah, i cant see myself rolling down that hill anytime soon. i just wish i could turn my brain off for awhile. there are few times when i look at dumbasses and get jealous of the fact that they rarely ever have to think about anything for more than say thirty minutes before they forget what they were thinking about. now is one of those times. maybe i should just get high. yeah right, that makes everything better, eh? nope. alcohol? same difference. fuck...well at least i dont have to go to work tomorrow/today.

i want to go see dawn of the dead tomorrow. im not quite sure exactly why i want to see it because i know its going to be pretty weak as far as being as good as the original but, "curiosity is a dangerous drug," maybe there will be a cool looking zombie in there somewhere.

whoops...i just called erin cause i thought she would be awake and i woke her up. now i feel bad. oh well, she probably went right back to sleep and forgot all about it. shes pretty good at falling asleep in a heartbeat. damn her.

ive always had problems with insomnia ever sense i can remember. im not sure why. i guess its the brain not cooperating with the body. that happens to me alot. im hoping writing this will take my mind off of things. its working fairly well so far. sometimes writing actually makes me feel better. i dont know why. when i was a little kid i wanted to be a writer. now i wonder what it means. do i write because i want to be a writer or do i write because i am a writer. these questions puzzle me to no end. i have a bad habit of trying to find external evidence of what happens in my head and it doesnt help at all.

jesus my head hurts.

well i guess im gonna try to eat something and maybe go to sleep (cross your fingers for me). if anyone has taken the time out of their life to read this inane psycho-babble then i thank you.

maybe ill have one of those cool dreams again...i cant wait...
3 comments|post comment

work work sleep [27 Mar 2004|02:44pm]
uh oh, just one day left...then im off for two days, hmmm what to do what to do...perhaps i should fist fight some burly lesbians or maybe dance with myself as billy idol always tells me to do. yesterday was so incredibly busy i nearly ripped my arms off just to reattach them with crude instruments like hair strands and glue. that wouldve shown em...right? in half the day i raked in more dough then all of first shifts money. pray for me...

and i still got the fuckin sniffles...everyone thinks im a junkie, yesterday while i was talking to a customer my nose almost dripped snot all over her credit card slip. i had to do some crazy sniffin to make sure it didnt....im sure you all really wanted to hear that too. you dont have to thank me.
4 comments|post comment

"these eyes" [25 Mar 2004|02:27pm]
are about to close on themsleves. sleeping seems a fond memory to me now. i can t even tell if i slept at all last night. but i know im helplessly tired.

"Ring! Ring! It's 7:00 A.M.!
Move y'self to go again
Cold water in the face
Brings you back to this awful place"

i hope 'whats her name' had a happy birthday. i wish your grow a date hadnt dissolved into sloppy red mush. we coulda had mucho fun with that thing...

"So get back to work an' sweat some more
The sun will sink an' we'll get out the door
It's no good for man to work in cages
Hits the town, he drinks his wages
You're frettin', you're sweatin'
But did you notice you ain't gettin'?
Don't you ever stop long enough to start?
To take your car outta that gear
Don't you ever stop long enough to start?
To get your car outta that gear"

my brain is about to fart so i guess i better cut this short...
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todays program is brought to you by the letter sshhhhhhh... [18 Mar 2004|01:27pm]
[ mood | slowly getting ready for work ]

i just woke up minutes ago from what was supposed to be an 8 hour sleep, but ended up 9 or 10 hours. oh well i guess i made up for the past couple of days and the lack of sleep from them. the past 2 days have by far not been the best of the year...but i hope theyre over now. tried to call some friends but no one answered. please tell me todays not gonna be the same way.

on a brighter (maybe thats not the right word but ill use it anyway) note: ive been trying to start a new story based on a dream i had somewhere between 2 to 3 years ago. ive already told everyone i know about this dream so if they dont remember just ask and ill fill you in with the neccessary details. at first i wanted to be real specific with it but now i think maybe i should be vague when its needed (or when i decide its needed) and descriptively boring when its not. im probably going to mesh alot of dreams into this story. its what i do best i suppose.

goddammit i wish i could remember what i was dreaming about earlier this morning because it was very strange, but its escaped me as usual.

at any rate heres a little taste of the beginning of it, please feel free to tell me how you like/dislike/got bored/got excited/anything at all. i would most appreciated it. this isnt all ive written so far but it is a nice start for all you out there in halloween land...and im off to work...

UNTITLED

When i stop and look around myself from time to time i notice certain things in greater detail then when i am shrouded in thoughts from the contemplation of the persistence of small life and the lack of realization of this fact by the more prominant forms of animation on this pulsing festering boil of the black matter ass that begs us for a kiss. i find myself dripping on the pavement of every street corner and every alley dumpster and every mountains cracking foot. the people seem to flash by in distorted colors similar to the vision of a chronic cheap vodka swiller. i cannot hold the sympathy for them that my friend does. he sees with such bright light waving from his eyes that everything becomes immediately illuminated in a calming wash of something almost genetic. i however refuse to share his obvious disregard for all the sludgy footprints these bipedal rats have left staining practically everything they touch. i cannot walk barely anywhere today and be rid of the influence of modern man who in my thoughts arent half as modern as they think they are. ive seen this kind of arrogant and pretentious attitude before. mocking the entire wheel of exsistence.

my feet slow to a stuttering pace spotted by the motion at all sides of me. everything feels so empty at times. the entire dimension of visibility could implode at the slightest spark of friction from my crusted white shoes. but my expression cant change anymore. i think its been molded more or less to my outward reaching "soul" many years ago. thats how he finds me now. not because of some silly reverberating aura or some other trite cosmic link. just the mask i don whenever i enter someone new. it is unmistakable. the furrowed brow and the pursed lips mark my thinking walks at all times. sometimes theres nothing left for me to do other than think and walk. lately ive been experiencing more of a draining sensation and an odd feeling of loss from day to exruciating day. and with this new found release of myself i can see the difference around me even more. inside and out. the buildings seem darker, like from some kind of smoke cloud painted on the lens of my eyes. the constant blurring of the insect people scurrying home in lines like an ant army. they look down at their feet as they walk. their anntenni wiggle above them sensing and feeling for the path that leads home with the least contact with anything or anyone. i stand out only well enough for sparse glances and quick fleeting smiles. but any hint of sincerity is quickly dissolved in the solution of the ever running obstacle course they have inadvertantly created for themselves. i want to pity them, but i just cant.

3 comments|post comment

[13 Mar 2004|11:43pm]
Right now Erin is typing for me because I am a lazy bastard. Did you get that...lazy bastard. Today, I woke up at 11 and went over to Erin's to proceed to Tye Dye tattoo. Guess what I went there for? You got it!! To get a tattoo of the Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas cover drawn by Ralph Steadman. I've been planning on getting that tattoo for a long time, and I finally did. After several hours of waiting for the sole worker at the shop to trace over the picture and deal with other customers, I finally got to get my "ink done". It took about an hour and a half and hurt just about as bad as I figured it would. But luckily I had Erin there for moral support. And now my back is taped up and I feel like an old man because I can't move freely. The bandage should come off tomorrow, but until then here are some pics of what it looked like right after I got it done.

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give me an apparatus [11 Mar 2004|05:23am]
[ mood | pizza dude... ]

a tense massage parlor look slices my attentive gaze in half like a scyth rusted from warm winter blues. the people sway like grains of wheat. from side to side as if our boat just entered turbulant waters. could have been right in front of my face and i wouldnt be able to tell. the weight of some strange phantom recognition in that face stops my words. my eyes. my mind. the hideous bar pigeons lame attempts at johnny cash covers drift off to the side to make room for my vision.

what is holy? that which is special to the individual? that which is neccessary to sustain some form of tranquil life? that which makes the birds sing? or is it that purple and black swirling cloud drawing me in like a mouse to the chopping block. could be heaven in love with hell. circling madness and "what do i say now?" an eyelash falls from my drying face. i am peeled like a grapefruit. endulge me if not just for the moment. enjoy me if not just for now. i see time as a trainwreck involving engineer whiskey and barbituate breath.

"no im sorry i dont want any speed. maybe that guy would want some..."

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is this world just a rerun? [07 Mar 2004|04:59am]
[ mood | tired ]

a free flight for all who can afford to land. tempt me not with sticks of lavish wonderful milky white smoke. she stared silently into the red brick wall interior. a hole was demonstrated by the sight of those who cant see. in the land of the blind sight becomes cumbersome. allows physical fear to seep into thought process. causes unecessary unstable and impulsive actions to slow down the time drain like you were the cosmic plumber with your ass crack leaking meaning. like you owned the place.

"this is not a library, if you aint gonna buy anything then you might as well try not looking at it anymore and try not looking into it," a wink is caught only by the threaded lips of my informants greasy clap trap.

a sail is set on wisdoms mound. free is the air that color inhabitants suggestive dialog. blissful purpose of wonder and fulfillment measured without cups or spoons or droppers or bottles or even space and time.
the bells jingle welcomes to our party as we glide into a blind painting. redwood doors and bronze frammed bar tops weak in the knees with disharmonious juke vomit. those memories of sightlessness have no knowledge of the anxious reasoning of oncoming locomotives like vocal chords breaking in mid sentence. strange are the wheels and slow is the pace serendipitous of fecal breasts and salmon breath stained on frozen speech forever and never. a reversed echo. whipping winds cut eyes and genitals. a searing sense of preservation becomes more like a ubiquitous plastic wrapper. look but dont touch. forever and never.

"the blind shall be led by the blind"

into water sheds i spent the year of the rat. trouble brewed on my lips. contemplation of queen bed blues. a singing dancing fucking machine. trapped in a latex matress. dawning on all the non-believers like showers of red rose percodans. peeling off skin with fingernail files and pennies as if i was a lottery ticket. the sight of endless emetic silence. without thought there could be no denial. no remorse. my tree is circled by bat shadows. they catch my cigarette butts as i hurl them in the air with the slight disdain of palace guards. the gaul of doorbell whisperers to say what they do not understand. i dont care how smart you think you are. talk to me like a human not a scientist. helium heads of the new moon.

"this is not prudent. a concusion requires immediate attention," the stage lights nod in approval. the audience just watches as they have been expecting a bloodbath all night and their mouths begin to dry. cotton spit confetti rains like obnoxious snowflakes with every boiling curse and blackened hiss. "but we need another few to fill the back row...you expect me to work without an audience? why, i should turn the scalpel on you if you wish to inundate me with layman feelings. i am a doctor. not a hack. my nose is painted with the finest china," we see the red re-enter his face like he was awakening from the frost of my belly.

the stadium is packed with sharp skulls and whispy beards. glasses filled with cold dead eyes. shucks of brown and grey hair succumb to the air vents placed properly above them. the women in the crowd sip from the same red cups emptied with larval sounds. the men cling violently if necessary to the blue cups as they lean in over females strategically seated next to them. the ceremony is about to begin...

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yowch! [04 Mar 2004|02:29am]
[ mood | shocked ]

man, i was just about to write something profound and subtley meaningful (yeah right, who am i kiddin) when my cat danzig thrusts himself on my lap for like the first time since i could hold his form on one hand...damn i think he hooked a vein...that fuckface...now i lost my train of thought.......ugh.....and its hard to type with a cat in your lap staring you down...

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the time i conviced myself i was awake [02 Mar 2004|03:59am]
"lord willin ill cure this terrible affliction"

suppose for a moment that there was no computer in front of you, that you were looking at a flat wall, that you were typing into a tub of gelatonous sludge with bubbles plopping and oozing out the sides of the lid

there is no one in your house

a game of frail old bones and jelly-like cartilige, "i respect you standing up,"

you are totally alone

let your mind go blank and simply recieve, try hard not to release, like holding in your breath as long as you can without gasping that undeniable choking coughing breath, but no lung capacity is required for this ride, you are already seeing through your screen into the marshy bottom of your iris, a deep green youve never seen before, reptile eyes with contracting pupils like the nova of a black matter star and cold cumbersome desert winds that drone from western moons to the cracks in you garage door

easy on you

lets test the answers with questionable results, a closet full of moths cause the skeletons were sold to lurching science teachers for under the table research and paid for with bribe money with a's written all over them, moths with mouths but no tongues, a terrible coughing sound full of bruised throats and tar embued gags, incapable of crying or vomiting even though they are forced to watch our garbage like fucking house flies under a hot shadow

we see a scarecrow with a shining badge and gun waving goodbye...

maybe now you are starting to remember what you dreamed about last night/this morning/two days ago/three years ago

the colors are starting to roll over you and soak the world in primary speech of greens and blacks and reds, the smell of gasoline and menthols, some sort of exotic insense

you are starting to slowly fall backwards into your chair as if you were underwater, leeking onto the floor and spreading like a melted milkshake into the carpet, rippling through fabrics you didnt know exsisted, becoming light beyond visible circumstance, relying on the midnight freighter to wisk you away by way of livid tense threads tightly spun around each other until you reach a point you remember what is about to happen next

a bright flash

you were here

i saw you everywhere in exposed time gliches, i saw a plastic wrapper seperating you from the room, did you try to rip it open? its okay, theres always the next train...
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... [28 Feb 2004|01:26am]
[ mood | mellow ]

"anything you can think of is true,
the dish ran away with the spoon
anything you can think of is true,
and fishes make wishes on you"

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old faces and hospital seats and lazy morhpine machines [24 Feb 2004|10:37pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

today i had to get up earlier than i usually do so i could go to the hospital with my parents. my mom had surgery on her broken shoulder today. to those who dont know my mom had a little spill the other day. she was leaving a bridal shower (or maybe it was a baby shower, dont know, wasnt there) and she had way too much to drink. my dad had just parked his truck at the bottom of the hosts steep paved driveway when he saw my mom stumbling towards the truck. he began to get out to help her to the car when he heard a mind numbing SMACK!! "ill never forget that sound as long as i live," i can only imagine...she apparently tripped on her own feet (she has had problems in the past with alcohol and mischievious feet, poor thing) and rolled down the driveway and hit her head face first on the rear tire of my dads truck. they both told me that you can still see blood on the tire in question, it almost made my aunt faint. she broke her nose, blackened both of her eyes, bit a hole through her bottom lip and broke her right arm (of course shes right handed). the surgery was scheduled for 1 pm but we had to get there around 11:30 am for her surgery prep and such. my dad was pretty stressed about the whole situation. the whole time in the waiting room he was figetting and getting up and sitting back down. he wanted to go walk around to get his mind off of the usual worries of "what could go wrong" and all those other mountainous mental traps, but he couldnt because he knew the doctor could come in at any moment with the news. when the doctor finally arrived at about 4 something (my dad said he was the son of the doctor who did surgery on his knee years ago...small world) he told us what the deal was. during his speech my dad was about to burst into tears. i have never seen this man come even close to crying, so i was a little unsettled by this. like i said, he was shook up pretty bad about this. but the doc told us that everything went well and they replaced the part of her humourous bone that connects to her shoulder blade with some sort of metal ligament and some bone graph straight from the cadavers. from there we waited around her hospital room where she will be sleeping the next couple of days. we stood there (both because of the nervous tension and because we had been sitting for hours) when she was rolled up to the door by two polite orderlies. the sight of my mother all battered and bruised and almost completely out of it made me feel a little misty as well. the first thing she did as i approached the gurny was she grabbed my hand as tightly as she could (which wasnt very hard at all) and whisper in the saintiest voice, "i love you guys." i had to breath deep after that one. her bottom lip trembled with every word she tried to utter. she looked so helpless. this is the woman who busts her ass everyday for me and my dad for no other reason than love and seeing her like this was a little surreal for me. i couldnt talk much at first. her breath reaked of anesthesia and her eyes where glazed over from the drugs (and bruised from the fall, my dad calls them "racoon eyes"). we had to feed her jello and pudding and some strange heated broth the nurse wheeled in to her room. she couldnt even lift the spoon. it was very strange. it seemed like i was thirty something years old and she was on her death bed, like this was the last time i would ever see her, but that was just my insane imagination running around my head. after she got settled and we all talked a little my dad and i left to go back home so he could give our dog her medicine and so i could finish some of the chores that mom usually does but cant for quite a while. he has since gone back to spend the night there and im still here. id like to go out for a little while to get my mind off things but it doesnt look like thats going to happen, i called erin like four times with no answer, i hope shes alright. kims at work im pretty sure and i wont be able to call her when she gets off...ugh....i guess im stuck here by myself. but situations like this make me very thankful for all the people who are in my life and who care about me and i for them. you all mean the world to me from the depths of my being, i love you all...(damn gettin misty again...)

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ridin along the pearly black waves [24 Feb 2004|03:03am]
[ mood | geeky ]

i found myself leaning on the edge of the hull railing on a tugboat sailing softly down the river. it was very dark outside making it hard to see much of anything not in the range of six or seven feet ahead of us thanks to the two light fixtures set up at the front of the boat. there were sleepy waves that would caress the boats surface as was it carved carefully along the water by my good friend at the helm. the moon was covered well by the smokey gray clouds that glided across its face. we talked through the rocking and the swaying of the vessel like we had just gotten sauced for the first time. no inhibitions crossed our thoughts. no word was unspeakable. every feeling every thought every fear. the point of expressing was simply to express. at times we had to yell our answers or questions out due to the occasional loud creaking from the boats innards. we were barely able to catch our breath between words to speak again. a still green fog sat lightly on the surface of everything. we watched the strange delapedated houses drearily sag by the waters edge. they were lit poorly by flickering yellow lights. with that and the fact that i couldnt see any lights coming from inside any of the tired and shabby houses, it had a dead and forgotten feel to it.

by the time we stopped talking we were out in the middle of the deep and oily black ocean. its expanding and enveloping nature made me unnerved. i was stuck between two oceans, the sky and the water. one could crush me like the smallest flea. the other would tear me apart and push my remains wriggling on their way. at once i saw many lighted spots weaving in and out of the waves. they were paired off like sets of eyes. as we approached them i could make out slightly the forms of some of these things but not enough to get a good idea of what they were. but they seemed to be either unaware of our presence or unmoved by it. they would easily slide past us, their eyes shining green and yellow and always fixed on the path ahead. the wind began to bite my skin more and more as i watched the beasts swim. everything, the clouds the serpents the waves the wind, were all moving at the same pace. slowly and sleepily. i was hypnotized by the rocking cradle of the boat and the sounds of water rushing by that i closed my eyes and was wisked to sleep.

when i awoke i was already up and on my feet walking down a gravel trail that streched over the horizon in front and behind me. it was lined left and right by trees that slunk to the side like their leaves were too heavy to bear any longer. the moon had broken free from its cloudy captor and basked its decieving light onto everything, "i must be pretty deep in these woods," i had no idea as to why i was there or how i had gotten there. it really didnt seem to bother me either. the point of being there was simply to be there. i kept my pace with my hands stuffed in my pant pockets. after a couple of minutes passed i heard a faint whisper.

"billy....................come here, billy........................" the branches of one of the trees reached out like a hand and made an open palm gesture beconning me to it.

i stopped my walk. i could see myself as a child creeping warily towards the calling tree as it hung low to the ground and waved its wooden hand to me. my child got right up next to the old whisperer.

"i gotta secret to tell you........," it said as he leaned in to recieve the message. the branch riddled arm bent closer to his ear cupping the words so no one else could hear. all i can hear is mumbling until i see the tree grab the boy violently and shove his tiny body into the trees frothing and toothsome maw. the devouring of the child takes only an insant. then silence returns to the woods as if nothing had happened.

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